Sometime as we grow, we tend to lose bit by bit of what we used to have as things starts to get more complex. I was reading someone’s blog just now and the person was like saying how growing up sucks. Simply because when you grow up things get complicated. When you were young, ice cream is simply something sweet, but when you are all grown up, you start to worry about the calories instead of just enjoying the pleasure of eating the sweet cone. Pretty much true isn’t it? [Well, at least for me]
When I was young I was super *[I can’t find a word for this]* about my life. Though i had no great aspiration to be a doctor or a fireman, a scientist or even a singer like my peers had. But still in me, I could see a direction in which none could. I was clear in what I wanted in life even when the way ahead seems hard.
Through the things that happen in my life, there were still times where I felt helpless but miraculously at my few darkest moment, courage would seems slowly gather and make the boy feel braver.
If you ask me, I don’t remember tearing and running towards my parents for comfort because something bad happened. I’m a strong kid and I’m always proud of that. But that was until a few years back. It seems to me that I’m starting to get more and more lost in this unfeeling world. It seems that I have lost the decisiveness I once had and it seems to me that I no long know what I’m heading for.
I’ve lost the part of me that would stand against everything just to protect the dreams that I have. Well, its part and parcel of life isn’t it? What is left in my now is stubbornness to admit that well, maybe I really have reached my limit.
Maybe I now need someone by my side now.
Maybe I now need someone to talk to before making important decision.
Maybe I now need someone to talk care of me.
I don’t know.
Perhaps I’m still to stubborn to admit that I’ve been wrong all these time thinking that I can handle life by myself.
Well, no matter what, I’m still me.
